DEEP SEA FISHING

It was my first deep sea fishing trip. My middle son Ben who is a deck hand on charter fishing trips advised me to take something called Bonine the night before and then one in the morning. I missed the night dose but took the morning dose about 7:00 a.m. The boat departed at 8:00 a.m. The sea was a bit rough going out. I felt like I was riding a bucking bronco… tossed to and fro and side to side. An hour into the trip I was quite pleased that I was feeling fine. Around 9:30 I decided to go below and take another Bonine just in case. I downed it with a Pepsi and noticed a sign on the door about sea sickness. It said it happened suddenly and if you must be sick, to throw up over the side of the boat. However, I was on top of the situation and headed back up top to enjoy the seabreeze. Only moments later I began to feel a bit queezy. Surely not, I thought. Within a few seconds later I bolted back down to find a place to puke. I asked the deckhand where to go and he just pointed to the back of the boat. It was at that moment I gave up my morning breakfast…all eight dollars worth…what a waste…how embarrassing. Moments later the boat stopped and it was time to fish. I dropped my line and concentrated on not throwing up. It didn’t work. The deck hands were chumming and I was chucking again. I remembered it was Sunday morning and that I should have been at church… too late now. I went inside and laid down while everyone was fishing. Before I knew it, the captain announced it was time to head back. Everyone began to come back in and I was forced to sit up which in turn forced me to become sick again. I stood up and wobbled my way to the back of the boat being tossed to and fro hanging on to anyone who would catch me. Finally I made it to my destination and barfed once again. About that time a handsome former Navy man came back and to my surprise, asked me where we were supposed to puke. I pointed to the back of the boat and then sat down on an outside bench. He relieved himself and sat down right next to me as if I was some sort of comfort to him. We both sat there side by side in silence for quite sometime. For some reason we had an unspoken bond… Navy or not. I wondered if he was my angel. I went back inside after a while. A little boy began to barf in a Winn Dixie bag. Gag…I went back outside and laid down on a bench. Moments later I heard some man upchucking over the side of the boat. He was loud and put a lot of emphasis in his efforts. I started laughing. I thought I was a wus but this guy was ridiculous. Then I noticed a man who had offered me grapes earlier take his turn over the side of the boat. Another came and then another… all those tough men who had been laughing at me earlier. My take on deep sea fishing?

I’m not a fisherman… I never will be.